Moving On

May 23, 2014

For the past 5 months of donning the veil, I’ve come across various comments from positive and weird (no negatives — at least I don’t indulge myself on the negative ones).
Positive comments are obviously the best because not only people praised me for my courage and how beautiful I look (ulalaa :p), but they are also building me into a much stronger character as a Muslimah.
Now weird comments are also fascinating. It comes from different views from “so what does your hair look like now?”, “you’re the first hijab friend I have now” to “so you wear it because you’re already skinny and you look better with it?”. Hahaha I love it! And I adore their honesty towards me looking different. I’m not such a good communicator when it comes to comeback answers, but since I’m a people pleaser I usually tackle the comments with a little joke but honesty and truth.
Other comments I got about this is when my friends starts calling me by hillarious names from Kerdus (Kerudung Dusta), Jilbandel (Naughty Hijab-wearer), and Fakeda (From Fida but with “Fake” as they think the covering means nothing).

Not gonna lie I have nothing against those name-calling. I actually love them for creating those names. It actually means that personality-wise, veil has not change me. In their eyes I’m still this actively hyper person who is a tad bit dirty-minded :p. However what they don’t realize is that I started wearing not because I want to change personally, but I am trying to change spiritually. I really don’t care about what others think and how they’re going to judge, because it is not them who I want to please, rather than my God, Allah SWT.

When I think about the things that I had done over the past of living for 22 years, seeing things that I saw, experience things that I did, I noticed that I did everything:

I curled my hair
I wore huge earrings
I have 4 ear piercings
I wore extension wig
I had weirdest yet awesomest birthday pranks
I was a cheerleader
I watched Thomas Cup badminton final live
I watched Australia Football live
I cut my hair for cancer
I rolled down the hills with coconut fibers
I swim
I dive
I got stung by a jellyfish
I fell in love
I lived abroad
I left home when i was 16
I have a video myself driving for the first time
I ran 10km
I worked and have money
I commute in a dodgiest public transportation
I laughed til I cry
I kiss
I eat like i have a rubber stomach
I jumped from high places: rocks, jetty, bridge
I partied
I got typsy
I had braces
I fight with my siblings
I drove alone at midnight
I sing my heart out in the car
I take dance exams
I perform plays and dances
I made and buy things for my ex boyfriends
I wore short skirts
I wore bikini
I learn to ride the bike crying
I make my own dishes at my 20th birthday party for about 20 people
I got locked in my own apartment
I had a freaky neighbour
I had the most friendliest landlords
I fall and bruise my knees
I kicked corals and bleed alot of times
I bought things because i want them, unnecessary whether theyre useful
I watch broadway
I watched concerts
I took tests for overseas scholarships, never got it- it’s okay.
I did bikram yoga
I took pictures with indo celebrities
I organized music events n brought Indonesian artist to Malaysia
I write and received postcards

Overall I probably did many things people has or hasn’t done but I am proud of my self. Sometimes what you need is a reminder that you have done what you had to do to be able to move on. To move on from a relationship, from a job you didn’t like or as for me, to move on to be a better person personally as well as spiritually and be closer to God. Nothing is going to change, veils don’t change a person. They act as a reminder and shield to whatever you do in life matter not only in the world, but also in the hereafter.

So here is to moving on and being constantly grateful every single day.

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